In honor of Easter and General Conference

I found this in some files that I was going through, and I thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy!

TOP FIVE WAYS GENERAL AUTHORITIES EAT THEIR REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS

5. Paul H. Dunn:
"I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that was 2 feet tall. I really didn't know if I could eat it or not, what with my recent war injury and all, but I remember my fallen buddy's words as he died in my arms: 'Paul, if you just take one bite at a time you can tackle anything.' So I took that giant cup and, breaking it with the bat Babe Ruth gave me, proceeded to wolf down the tiny morsels."

4. Thomas S. Monson:
"I remember I ate my first Reese's Peanut Butter Cup when I was a tender lad of 8. My mother came up to me, and with a loving twinkle in her eye, asked, 'Tommy, are you eating a Reese's?' And I would invariably smile up to her, "Yes, Yes, I am.' 'But Tommy, did you know that Sister Jensen next door hasn't eaten a Reese's Cup in years?' My young mind thought upon the plight of my next door neighbor as I..."

3. Boyd K. Packer:
"In all my years, I have always eaten my Reese's Peanut Butter Cup the same way - the way the brethren have instructed us to eat them. There is a far greater evil in this world, though - those who believe they can eat their Cups in a way not in harmony with the brethren. We must be true and faithful and eat our Peanut Butter Cups the exact same way the brethren do."

2. Neal A. Maxwell:
"I intentionally initiate the delicious design of degluition of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by nibbling a negligible nit of the culinary creamy cavalcade. For like our Savior, it is exclusively through small entities that the great things are fabricated. Then I ..."

AND THE #1 WAY ...
1. J. Golden Kimball:
"Hell, I'll eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup any damn way I want!"


(Hope I didn't offend anyone! :D)