Warning: Long, long, long-long-looong blog post ahead.
Yesterday the kids and I flew to Utah. Four kids. And me. And a gazillion bags and backpacks and a diaper bag the size of Rhode Island. With a layover in Denver. During naptime.
Yes, I have changed my middle name to Crazy. Anna Crazy Mansfield. It seemed appropriate.
Travis took the morning off to help us to the airport. He helped us get all of our suitcases checked and our boarding passes printed and walked us to Security. And then he left. He could have gotten a boarding pass and walked us to the gate, but I was all like "No, I can handle it. I'm going to have to do it alone in Denver and in Salt Lake, so I might as well do it now too. You go on to work, honey. It'll be fine."
That's the last time I'll ever utter such stupidity. If I ever act like I can handle it all, ever ever again, y'all have permission to whack me up side the head.
So, Travis left us waiting in line at Security. Security is a lot of shuffling along, waiting in line, cross-your-eyes boredom. Until you get to the front of the line, and then it's a lot of crazy madness, trying to get everything and everyone through the various x-ray machines and scanners without holding up the line and without forgetting anything or losing anyone. We had with us: two big kids who enjoy fighting with each other (they must enjoy it or they wouldn't do it so often, right?) two backpacks, one laptop bag, with a laptop that had to be removed (or dropped by Jared...), one ginormous diaper bag, one camera bag, one carseat, one baby (who must be removed from the carseat and held while shuffling everything else down to the xray machine), one toddler with a propensity for running away, and one monkey-back-pack-leash thingy to keep her from running away. Whew! I'm getting a headache just writing all of this!
So, we get up to the front. And everyone takes off their shoes and starts helping me load things into bins. And Kate starts freaking out because she doesn't have a clue what's going on. And she isn't happy about having to get out of the stroller. Or having to take off her monkey (truth be told, I wasn't happy about that either - did I mention she likes to run away?). She's in full out tantrum mode. So I gave Megan an applesauce pouch thingy that Kate loves and told her to go stand to the side while I dealt with everything else. Um, yeah....That didn't work so well. We are forever more referring to this as The Great Applesauce Explosion of 2013. It resulted in me carrying a sticky, thrashing two year old through security. There may have been some applause when we finally left. A TSA worker may have started weeping with joy. I know there was some rubbernecking from people in other lanes - you know like when you are on the freeway and you see a gruesome wreck off to the side and you slow way down so you can stare in fascinated horror at the carnage? Yeah. It was like that.
We finally made it to our gate, about 45 minutes before boarding.We staked out a row of chairs in the corner. Kate was happy again by then and wanted to explore, so Megan took a hold of her leash (don't judge me - I used to think those toddler leashes were horrible, but after Kate, now I think they are rockin'-awesome!) and let her roam. All was peaceful for about 15 minutes. Until Kate tripped on her shoe, faceplanted on the tile, bit her tongue, and was carried back to me gushing blood.I had another clean shirt for Kate to wear, but not for Megan. She had to spend the rest of the day in a shirt covered in blood, boogers, and chewed up goldfish. She's such a good big sister. She didn't even complain.
Totally another one of those awesome rubbernecker moments, with bystanders stunned by the blood bath. Actually, everyone around us was really nice. Multiple people offered to run and get some ice or a popsicle, no one accused me of being a negligent mother.
So there you have it. That was the first leg of our journey. The actual plane ride to Denver was a a piece of cake. Megan slept, Kate slept, Jared sat across the aisle and talked some nice lady's ear off. William sat on my lap and babbled. Easy-peasy.
Little did I know that that was just the calm before the storm. Tune in next time to hear the rest of the story.