Right Now - Megan

Right now, you are teetering between worlds - sometimes you are still my little girl who plays Barbies and house and dress-up and sometimes you are so much more grown-up. We talk about friends and problems. We go to plays. I love the little girl side of you, but I am excited to get to know this older version as well. You still like me to snuggle you and sing to you, but you are starting to want to do more things with your friends and to be more independent.

Right now, you are full of nurturing. Kate thinks you are her second mommy. You take care of everyone. You have a natural talent with babies and little children. You see things that need to be done and you just quietly go about doing them.

Right now, you love hanging out with friends. You and Abby are singing in the Children's Christmas Choir together, and I think you love hanging out with her each week more than you love the music. You are always trying to arrange times to get together with your friends, and when you do get together, it's nonstop chatting and giggling.

Right now, you are getting much more interested in clothes. Every morning is an adventure as you try to put together outfits that express your personal style. But being modest is super important to you too, so you often bring me shirts that I know you love that are maybe a little too short or tight. I am grateful that you are paying attention and willing to monitor yourself.

Right Now - Kate

Right now, you are 18 months old and we all adore you.

Right now, you are having a language explosion. You are saying new words every day. A few of your favorites are: bubble, baby, mama, dadda, Megan (Muh), brother, birdy (anything that flies - birds, planes, bugs), bye-bye, hi, tutu, GO!, and bo (blow). You really understand a lot of what we say to you, and it is fun to see you learning more and more words.

Right now, you love to dress up. You wear the tutu I made you for Halloween all day, every day. You love to wear sunglasses. You bring me hats and headbands to help you with. You wrap blankets around you like capes. You put your shoes on over your footy-pajamas.

Right now, you wake up waaaaaay too early. I long for the days that my alarm wakes me up at 6:30. But you are so happy when you get up. You hit the ground running, ready to play.

Right now, you have so much energy! You love to climb on things. You climb up behind the couch and flip over the front and slide down. Over and over. You climb the entertainment center. Yesterday I took the knobs off the entertainment center cupboard doors because you open them and use the cupboards to give you a boost so you can climb up to the shelf where the TV is. You like to get up there to give the people on TV kisses, but I was afraid you would pull it down on top of yourself.

Right now, you are afraid of elevators. Your whole body tenses up, and you say "Bye-bye-bye-bye" because you want to get OFF!

Right now, you shower people with kisses and hugs. Me, daddy, Megan and Jared, people at church, and if we don't watch closely, random strangers. You have no stranger anxiety. You love to wave and jabber at people.

Right now, you think that you should kneel down, fold your arms, bow your head, and shriek at the top of your lungs during prayers.

Right Now - Jared

Right now, you are taking off with reading. You are so much more confident than you were at the beginning of the year. You love practicing your sight words and you remind me to read with you every day.

Right now, you are in to Harry Potter. You will get dad's chess set out and play "Wizard's Chess" for hours, using the pieces to battle back and forth. You turn everything (sticks, swords, silverware, etc) into wands and try to cast spells on your sisters.

Right now, your favorite show on TV is Phineas and Ferb. You love Agent P. You name things "inator". For example, the other day when Kate needed a diaper change, you called her a "Smelly-inator".

Right now, you love to tease your sisters. You are an expert at getting a rise out of both of them. It's kind of funny just how quickly you can make both of them mad (don't tell anyone I said so!).

Right now, you love to play football. I love that you want to be outside, running around with friends instead of inside watching TV or playing computer. As soon as your homework is done, you head outside to play, and only come in when I call you for dinner. You are loving the beautiful fall weather we are having.

Right now, you are losing the last of your "Jared-isms". I think the last funny things you say are "grow-niller bars" instead of granola bars and "Obrack Bam-oma" instead of Barack Obama. I will miss them when you stop, but I am constantly impressed with how well you express yourself.

Right now, you are growing faster than I can buy clothes for you. You outgrew your shoes I bought you in August, and most of your pants are too short. You are going to be taller than Megan is soon. And then you'll pass me up!

Present: Busy, busy, busy!

I've been living in the present, and not doing a great job keeping up this poor blog. It's been pretty hit-or-miss since spring, but I am determined to catch up. So prepare to be inundated with random posts and pictures that probably won't mean anything to anyone except me. :D

Mostly I've been busy taking naps. And eating chocolate. And laying on the couch. And trying to have the energy to keep up with Kate. And helping with projects and homework. And doing crafts. And drawing with sidewalk chalk. And reading books. And doing very little on the computer. And doing just about anything except cleaning the house or folding laundry......But mostly taking naps.

Present: It's the simple things

Sometimes having a good time doesn't mean going anywhere or doing anything fancy. Sometimes it means watching a baby experience eating an Oreo for the first time.

Present: If you give Anna a cookie

If you give Anna a cookie, she'll probably want a glass of milk to go with it.
As she goes into the kitchen to get the milk, she'll probably notice the dishwasher didn't get run last night.
As she puts soap into the dishwasher, she may notice that there is a little room on the top shelf. She'll want to go find some dirty dishes to fill that spot.
She may may go into the bedroom to get the water glasses off the night stands.
As she gets the glasses, she'll remember that she wanted to wash the sheets today. She'll pull the sheets off the bed and carry them into the laundry room to put them in the washer.
While she is starting the washer, she'll wonder if there are any dirty clothes hiding in the kids' rooms.
As she walks down the hall, she'll notice that the linen closet is such a mess, the door won't close. She'll stop to straighten it up.
She'll notice the red curtains on the shelf - the ones she's been meaning to hang up in the kitchen.
She'll take them to the kitchen to hang them up before she forgets again.
While she's in the kitchen, she'll see the gallon of warm milk on the counter. And as she's putting it back in the fridge, she'll wonder where her cookie is.

This may or may not be a description of my morning.

My bed is unmade.
There is an empty glass on top of the dryer.
The dishwasher hasn't been run.

But, the curtains are hung. And the linen closet is straightened. That should count for something, right?

Present: What We've Done Today

I'm making an effort this year to say yes to the kids more. To do more with them. To be more involved. To be PRESENT in the activities they are interested in.

If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, 

you haven't done much today.  ~Author Unknown

Today, we have:

Played with a basket. Who know baskets could be so fun?

Created holiday decorations for Barbies with clay.

Started designing a Rube Goldberg machine.

What a fun afternoon. And the best part? My big kids cleaned up most of the messes from their projects without being asked. 

I am enjoying being PRESENT.

Present: An Epiphany

I had an epiphany today as I drove home through the rain.

If I am truly focusing on the PRESENT, 

I don't need to be kicking myself for the past - past mistakes, past shortcomings, 

they don't have a hold on me. 

A few nights ago, as I was laying in bed, some memories of mistakes I had made in the past came to mind. Things that I had thought I had fully repented of. Things that I thought I had moved past. As I was laying there, I started to doubt myself. To wonder if I was just imagining that I had been forgiven. An awful, overwhelming feeling of fear and depression filled me.

I thought, When we are forgiven, aren't we supposed to forget? When we repent, aren't things supposed to not bug us any more? Or weigh on us? Isn't forgiveness like a big pink eraser?

That night, I prayed. And I prayed. And I prayed. And I didn't feel any sort of resolution or hear any sort of answer. During the past few days, I've prayed. I've prayed to understand the process of repentance. I've prayed to feel that sense of peace that God will forgive me when I screw up, fall short, lose my temper. When my Natural Man side takes control.

And then today, as I was driving home, the thought hit me that these thoughts and feelings don't come from God. They come from Satan. They are full of self doubt and self pity and are the opposite of faith. Satan wants us to doubt ourselves, he wants us to doubt God.

Hebrews 8:12 says 

"Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more."  

Christ is speaking here.  The scriptures don't teach that WE will forget, but that Jesus and Heavenly Father will. 

In Alma 36, Alma is speaking to his son Corrianton, calling him to repentance. Alma speaks of his own past, his own mistakes:

"I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." 

Harrow means to cause to suffer. Alma says his memories don't make him suffer any more because he has repented and been forgiven. He never says that he forgot them.

My heart filled with joy and peace. The past is in the past and I don't have to worry about it any more. I think that we are meant to remember our mistakes. They teach us. They help shape us into the people we are. They refine us. We aren't supposed to forget them, but we aren't supposed to dwell on them either.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. 

~Cherokee Proverb

Present: Enjoying the Moment

Oh, if life were made of moments,
Even now and then a bad one!
But if life were only moments,
Then you'd never know you had one.

(Moments in the Woods from Into the Woods, the Musical)

 Part of what I am trying to do this year with my word Present is to slow down and enjoy the little moments that just happen. Too often I find myself caught up worrying about "what's next" to focus on "what's now."

The kids had the day off from school, so we packed a picnic and went to have lunch with Travis at the Water Wall. The weather was perfect - warm and sunny, and everyone had a wonderful time running around, playing kickball (even Travis got into it in his nice dress clothes! That's something I love about him - he never hesitates to get in and play with the kids.)

It wasn't fancy or exotic or extravagant or anything. Just a beautiful moment, full of sunshine and laughter and family.

My Word for 2012 - Present

I picked my word for 2012.

PRESENT

I've never picked a word before, so I'm a little nervous. But I'm excited at the same time. This is something I've been thinking about a LOT and I am excited to make it a focus in 2012. 

(If you aren't familiar with One Little Word, basically you choose a word that you want to focus on for a year. You look for it all around you. You try to incorporate it in you writing and your reading and your art. You BECOME that word.)

Definitions:
existing or in progress right now
being in view or at hand 
existing in something mentioned or under consideration 
attentive, mindful, observant,
something given to someone without expectation of a return
to bring before the public in performance or exhibition
to make (one person) known (to another) socially

Synonyms and related words:
current
extant
immediate
instant
ongoing
present-day
here and now
moment
now
today
comp
bestowal
donation
carry
give
mount
offer
stage
focus